how rude

I did not grow up in my current state of residence. I was raised elsewhere. Where I grew up, I could order Sprite, rice, or French fries without someone asking me to repeat myself. In this same aforementioned state, when asked for my first name, they would hear "Glen" and not "Clint." I realize this is a different place with its own customs and quirks. I recently learned how to be rude at the grocery store... When you get in line at the grocery store, chances are there is someone in front of you. It is also very likely that they have loaded up that magical conveyor belt with their items of choice. In order to keep the confusion level to a minimum, there exists those little plastic dividers that can be placed between your stuff and mine. Here begins the lesson in etiquette. Where I grew up, when you started to load your groceries, you grabbed one of those dividers and throw it down before unloading your shiz. Not here. No sir. Last weekend at the local Winco, I noticed the dude in front of me throw down a divider after he had finished loading his groceries on the belt. I thought it was weird but whatever. I threw my items on the belt and waited for the cashier to ring it all up. I glanced behind me and noticed the next customer glaring at me with daggers in her eyes. She sighed loudly, grabbed a divider, and threw it down with a loud "SHWACK!" Apparently folks round these parts expect you to do that for them. In Texas, we are an independent bunch. If I want my groceries divided from yours, I gotta handle that shiz. Here in the beehive state, that ain't the case. Lesson learned, Utah.

Caution - Road Work Ahead

I love how misleading signs can be. I really believe that the Department of Transportation in my state has it in for me. For example:
1. Today I saw a "Road Work" sign followed by a helpful "Keep Right". I start "keeping right" only to be flagged down by a worker and told I needed to turn around. Hmm. Turns out "Road Work" + "Keep Right" means "Road Closed With NO Detour DUMMY"
2. I think a drunk pirate with one eye (and hence, no depth perception) must set up the warning signs because a few days ago, one was placed so far into my lane that (even though I got as far over as I could without hitting oncoming traffic) I took out a "Road Work Ahead" sign with my side mirror. Suck it DOT.
3. For as long as I can remember, Interstate 15 has been torn up, fixed, changed, torn up, widened, striped, etc. The DOT has us all fooled. They can continue this process of tear it up and build it again for years. Where is the power of the consumer? Not here. The best we can do is hit their poorly placed signs and orange barrels so Captain OneEye can set them up again. *sigh*

Try it...you'll like it.

Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

100 cool points if you know the quote. If not read on and you'll find out where it is from.

I'm known as an angry person. I don't feel angry all the time and I honestly don't consider myself an angry person. According to Yoda, I must hate lots of things and consequently, I am suffering. Suffering!

I have also been informed that I don't suffer fools. I agree with this but hopefully, I don't suffer fools gladly. To be clear, I can't stand it when someone makes a statement with that all-knowing tone to their voice and they are completely and utterly wrong. I have a physical reaction to it. Balance must be restored to the Force...and I am Darth Vader.

So which is it? Yoda says that I must be suffering yet my psyche does not allow me to suffer fools. Must be the reason for all the screaming.

some people think...

That you can get busy living or get busy dying. I ride a motorcycle so I can do both at the same time. Am I a masochist? I'd like to think that I am not but riding any two-wheeled vehicle through Utah traffic is a dumb idea. There. I admitted that I am dumb. This thought occurred to me again as a huge Dodge truck turned right in front of me this morning and proceeded to slam on its brakes. Luckily I was able to stop in time. I made my discontent known to said driver of the truck and continued on to work. I mean, what would Andy Dufresne do?

Just because it has a stinger and flies does NOT make it a BEE (from June 2006)

I have a pet peeve. Sure I have more than just one but this is something that bugs me. Bugs…Ha! Anyhow, where I live in Utah, any flying insect that has some semblance of a stinger is referred to as a bee. You know, bees. They dive bomb flowers, collect pollen, vomit honey. You know the story. As a service to my entomologcally-challenged Utahns , I post the following images to help you identify bees and other flying stinging *things* correctly. Roll the old mouse pointer (that’s the thingamabob that looks like an arrow on the screen most of the time) over the image to see what it is. (Hey, it’s for the children!)

Do you know how to act when faced with a 4-way stop? (from May 2006)

I live in Utah. I grew up in Texas and ended up in Utah. Don’t get me wrong, the mountains are great and the people are nice. The weather is much better than Texas weather. However, why in the HELL do people out here not understand a 4-way stop? Excuse me citizens o’ the Deseret State. A 4-way stop is NOT like a traffic light. Just because the guy in front of you gets to go this time around doesn’t mean you get to go too. Why you ask? Read a book people. Come on, this isn’t rocket science. It’s not even computer science…sinners :-)

I Dislike Racheal Ray (from April 2006 and I still don't like her)

Maybe you have the Food Network, maybe you don’t. If you do, try to watch one of Rachael Ray’s shows. I can’t believe how excited she is about every freakin thing she puts into her clown sized mouth. I’m just hoping that one day she takes a bite of something, spits it out and screams, “That tastes like day old gorilla dook!” Update: To show some love for the Rachael Ray Sucks Community, I’m adding a link to their site and one of my favorite images of RR. Too bad she didn’t bring a GB to drizzle some EVOO into…